Everyone wants success. Now success isn’t the same for everybody; for some it’s money, for some its fame, while for others it’s attaining a hot spouse. In this article, we will discuss six amazing mind power steps that construct your thinking to ensure that the actions you take will drive you towards true success. Yeah! That means Money, Fame, Babes and everything you’ll ever want…
Step 1: You are the In Charge of Your Life…
Paying heed to what other people think of you makes them in charge of your life, instead of you.
‘What will they think of me?’ slavery is exceedingly common. Majority of us are brought up (truly so) to consider others. However, unless we are discerning, we soon discover ourselves involved in a job we can’t endure, or living in a relationship which turns us distressed, or getting trapped in the spiral of impoverishment.
‘Trying to constantly delight other people ‘ syndrome sets out in childhood. It roots from a desire to be liked and regarded with admiration. Let’s consider a fairly typical scenario: three boys, Rick, Nick, and Dick, all five years old, are best friends. They brawl to sit together at school and spend their breaks in a group. Rick comes to school one day with a set of Pokemon cards to show his pals. Nick is jealous of Rick’s collection and a battle breaks out when Rick shows unwillingness towards giving a prized card to Nick.
There are more than a few resulting scenarios, all with strict implications for Rick’s future. A teacher could cut off the battle and make Rick feel ashamed for not parting with the prized card. Nick could deny talking to Rick even ending the friendship, unless Rick yielded. Dick would support either Nick or Rick, or be a pacifier and drive the other two to negotiate the problem and make it clear in an amicable manner.
The biggest danger to Rick, is if the solution implicates his giving the card away, when he really doesn’t wish to. Otherwise stated, if the only motive he gives in, is because he intensely wishes to be admired and it really counts what his friends think of him. If they were real friends, certainly, Nick would recognize Rick’s perspective and Dick would not criticize. Rick might even happily offer Nick another not so valuable card out of his collection.
Over the years thousands of small occurrences ramp up, until by the time we are adults, most of us build a habit of putting what other people think of us before our own individual hopes and desires.
The Right Reasons
Before you trim the grass, decorate the house, start a business, go on a vacation, always ask yourself, ‘Is this for the right reasons?’ Yes, the gardening is important, but not if you’re in the middle of critical market research and if you don’t trim the grass today you’re concerned that the neighbor’s will think you’re sluggish. Yes, a house has to be decorated, but not if it’s at the rate of your health through shooting your stress level through the roof trying to fit it in between a busy advertising campaign, and it’s only because your partner asserts you do it now.
‘Other people’ slavery downs your creativity, your energy and drive towards your own targets and satisfying your dreams. It stops you from visiting places you want to, and delighting in the kind of entertainment that you enjoy. Therefore, make sure you’re not always driven to do things, purely because you’re concerned about what other people think of you. Be confident in who you are!
Step 2: Be Different. Look Different
Nearly everyone you know will struggle to be normal – because it’s acceptable in a social context. But the normal person goes nowhere extraordinary and reaches the mundane.
Using an assumed character called John, here’s an example of his normal anticipations of life and mediocre results:
‘I live in an agreeable neighborhood in an average house (meaning all the houses and gardens along the street look exactly similar, with the exception of the odd differences in plants). I own an average car (a very ordinary car, not at all like the luxury cars).’
John’s other goals and targets: ‘I lay aside all year round to take my wife and children on holiday, somewhere nice where it’s safe. We usually reserve a package holiday, so everything is taken care of and we know precisely what to expect. Even the entertainment is all preplanned for us.
My job is boring, but it pays the expenses and the pension is rather fair. It’ll never make me wealthy, but then I don’t want to be rich. Anyone who’s rich has had to lie and cheat on others to be on the top. I love to sleep at night with a clear conscience. I may not have much but at least it’s a gratified life.
I don’t have much to do with my neighbors; I don’t really like them. But, to keep the peace I cut down the grass once a week and keep the garden weeded and tidy. I like to think they see me as a nice guy.
Every other weekend we call our best friends, Tom and Mike, and they visit us alternate weekends. Just like us, they’re your ordinary typical family. Most nights after work, I take shower, change and after dinner, put my feet up and watch television until bedtime. Every Sunday, we have a barbeque while for a Friday; we treat ourselves to a fry up. Am I glad, well, its life isn’t it?’
That’s how John thinks and lives his life and that’s how many people live their life. The Johns spend their days, muttering about how they hate their job, get tired of their bosses and partners, but that’s all they do. The same complains all the time – but taking no struggle to change their lives, simply because they are slaves to being normal (and ‘what will other people think of me, if I do something unusual?’).
Living Amongst the Beau mondé
Let’s note the similarities and differences of John’s goals and dreams with another invented character, Joe. He’s one of the smaller groups of people who move into the life of the elite and privileged class.
‘My philosophy on life is uncomplicated. Life is too short to be little’.
I’m not at all worried about what other people think of me. If all my neighbors want to cut down their hedgerows and build short brick walls and block pave their drives, that’s their preference, but I’m not going to merely do it for pleasing them. I love the trees thus they’re staying and I would like to have a shingle drive. I’ve done what it takes to make our house individual.
Often, I ring Nicole from the office and ask her to forget about cooking dinner for that night and how about dining out? We’ve visited all the restaurants within a thirty km radius.
We both adore vacations, and I take the family as often as possible. We spend most weekends, exploring new places and experimenting different activities.
I’m happy with my job; it’s very demanding being a manager. I get to communicate and work with people of many diverse personality traits, from different backgrounds. From time to time a junior is obviously drawing a bead on my job. I don’t find it ominous, I like the challenge. I enjoy working with smart people who broaden my potential.
I really work hard and I am highly paid. Do I feel ashamed? No, I anticipate to be paid attractively for all my efforts; I wouldn’t have it any other way. We live in a luxurious house in a posh area and that’s my incentive for going the extra mile at work. I don’t routinely go home at the end of the working day. And occasionally I arrive at the office as early as 6am, just to get ready for a meeting with my team.
I want to be wealthy and I am ready to plan and progress towards my destination. I look forward to the future. I don’t really care anything else, because whatever occurs I will handle the situation myself. I know I can easily solve problems – my strength lies within, it does not arise from the outside forces. I couldn’t mind less whether other people approve of me or not, I know I’m satisfactory and that’s all that matters.’
Two Counterbalancing Philosophies
John’s slavery to acting normal (and slavery to what other people think), creates impoverishment and sorrow. While Joe’s struggling to be different (and refusal to be a slave to other people’s expectations of him) creates wealth and cheerfulness.
If you are ever invited to query if Joe’s attitude is not a tad selfish, then just ask yourself a simple question, ‘who would you like to have as a friend? John, who’s bored and miserable or Joe who’s stimulating and happy?’ Easy…… isn’t it?
Step 3: Foresee the Future
If you linger over your past mistakes your creativity will badly suffer and you won’t be able to move ahead. Losing may be fine if you take it correctly.
Let’s take an example. A pal of mine told me how a number of years ago, an acquaintance of his, came to him with an impressive lead about a stock that was definite to triple in price in the next few weeks. The price was $7.45 per share. Consequently, despite his apprehensions, he purchased 200 shares. From that day, the stock unfortunately dropped down. After a long wait, eighteen months later he made a decision to cut his losses and sell.
He traded the stock for a big loss at a total of $413. He could have let this one bad experience drive him from ever investing in the stock market again. However, this brave man explicated, he was happy to have learned such priceless lessons.
It taught him:
- Disregard the guy who wishes to give a hot tip.
- Inquire into a company cautiously before investing.
- Sell immediately if it starts dropping too much.
Don’t take mistakes as mistakes. It gives up to be a mistake and drops off its power to hold you back if you can learn to be happy that you’ve not failed but learned precious lessons in life. That approach will enormously help you to build future successes.
Lost a job? You perhaps weren’t fitted, so take the time out to make a decision what you really want to do. Did a business and then it crashed? Probably you don’t like running your own business. Can’t sell a product? Look for the right reason and then act. Either experiment other ways to sell it or dispose of the product and sell another one.
Blessed is he who is not demoralized by mistakes. Blessed is he who is happy he makes mistakes. Winning – or losing – is a state of mind.
Step 4: It’s Never Too Late
Unfortunately, the following story is too common in our society: Thomas spent years training to be a doctor, although he never really liked medicine. But he believed it was worth the sacrifice because it was a highly lucrative skill.
After house job, he got a permanent job with a local hospital. Years later he was still working at the same hospital and still hating it. His excuse was with a mortgage and family ties he was afraid to leave the hospital and go into a practice with lower wages.
After twenty years, he was still confused to correct a mistake made all those years ago. He was now too frightened to change jobs, simply because he’d gave it too late. He didn’t want to contend with younger men experienced at their job.
If you have a clear goal and you find yourself supposing ‘it’s too late’, the only way to overcome that fear is to ignore it and just do the thing you fear. It’s NEVER too late if you have the guts and the enthusiasm to follow your dreams.
Step 5: Don’t Crave Security
In ages past we established that life was full of hardships. They dealt with large animals in a do-or-die bid to kill them for food. The odds were simple; either make it or waste away, kill or be killed.
As civilizations came across fire and then electricity and gas to keep warm, purchased food from markets and made houses of stone, people became less interested to deal with any sudden events that menaced to turn their comfortable life upside down. Therefore, insurance was formulated.
The concept of insurance is to moderate the force of the unforeseen. In hypothesis, it’s a nice idea, but it has changed our society into a population of security seekers. It has lessened our strength as individuals who know we can overcome any difficult situation and accept challenges in our lives.
The crushing extent of this slavery is ever increasing. The more security we have the less mental freedom we can enjoy and the less our prospects are of success and satisfaction.
Dare and Excel
Not to dare is to lose oneself. The only places to learn security are a prison or mental hospital. Inmates are assured a roof over their heads, food and warmth for no obligations. What is the price tag for this security? No freedom.
Sadly, it’s all too easy to roll off a list of bad things that could happen to us. For majority it’s lighter than thinking of the good things that could happen. People who crave security are slaves to a dramatic imagination that calls forth bad news items that could occur to them, and they let these images to cripple their actions. Too concerned to start that great business idea because of all the things they visualize that could go wrong. Too scared to sell up and buy a larger house in another area because the house prices could drop or the children won’t like the new schools, or… and so it goes on for a never-ending list.
Every child likes surprises and life is fun and thrilling because of this. As we develop and we fight for security, we reduce the risks but in doing so we get rid of the surprises and limit our chances to achieve more than a boring life.
If you want to ensure that you don’t stifle your need for enthusiasm:
- Dare to be an individual. Dare to be King.
- Dare to develop your own style – instead of following “trends”.
- Dare to study and work to get better in your own profession.
- Dare to have a positive mental attitude and the nerve to try.
In other words: Dare to take a chance and be the first…
Step 6: Be Certain to Win
Our minds drive us to attain just what we believe we’re capable of achieving. This is good for us because once we understand this and master the art of controlled thinking, then we can guide our destinies towards success.
Controlled experiments over many years have evidenced that children who are regarded by their teachers, friends and families as ‘troublesome or terrors’ really end up getting into trouble with a high percentage becoming young offenders. On the other hand, the ‘good’ group of boys (in the same age group at the beginning of a study) believed by teachers, friends and families to remain out of trouble and succeed in school, go on to do so. Each group of children achieve in their in deep accordance with what people around them believe them capable of doing.
The final result of many similar studies is this: thinking does make it so. Only a miracle can make the football team win who begins a game with the ‘we know they’ll beat us,’ mentality.
If you need to break the bonds of ‘I’m certain to fail’ slavery:
- Hold positive chats with yourself and positive talks with others.
- Associate and surround yourself with positive people.
- Think like ‘I’m going to succeed’.
- Think like ‘I’m a winner’.
The only person you will have to entertain and convince is yourself. Other people are automatically convinced you’re great and a successful person, after you have convinced yourself.