Sep 6 2009

Faking Confidence

Confidence

Feeling confident is not always easy but can be vital to a successful outcome in stressful situations such as job interviews, first dates and auditions. Sure, the best way to look confident is to actually be confident, but “being confident” is much easier said than done when you are up against many candidates for the same job. Since you only get one chance to make a good first impression, it is often important to know the techniques to come across as confident. These techniques and habits are not only advantageous in critical situations, but can actually help you to feel more confident as you practice them.

Appearing confident starts with posture. Body language is the the first thing people read about you and an open body language helps both partners in communication feel more engaged. Sit our stand tall. Keep your shoulders back and down. A hunched position exudes insecurity or fear. Open your body language to receive the person you are coming into contact with. Keep your arms or legs uncrossed. Crossing your limbs indicates that you are unwilling to share or receive information. Leaning back or to the side can signal to other parties that you are not interested in what they have to say. If you are interested, smile. Smiling is the fasted way to give another person a good feeling and to receive a good feeling in return. There is a reason that the smilie emoticon was invented for text chat. We respond quickly and naturally to the smile. A person who can easily smile through a difficult question or situation exudes confidence like no other.

The number one reason for stage fright is lack of preparation. Go into every situation ready. If you are auditioning, know your piece very well. If you are interviewing, practice with someone else before you go in. Know the information you wish to share and be ready for as many questions as you can. If you are going on a date, do not try to answer in a way that you think the person wants to hear. Instead, be yourself and be honest. This has the advantage of weeding out the people who you might be incompatible with. Your date may not respond to you, but if that is the case it is actually good. You have saved yourself the trouble of finding out that information at a later time. Remember that you deserve a mutually beneficial relationship.

If an opportunity arises to show your abilities, take it. However, be humble when you receive praise. You have talents or abilities that are unique to you. Explore these and find opportunities to share them as often as possible. You have value, so show it off. Be careful however not to peacock around too much because this can actually show insecurity rather than confidence.

http://mindcafe.org/images/confidence/build-confidence.jpg

Maintain eye contact. There is nothing that shows insecurities like looking away or at other things during a meeting. If you are with one person, establish eye contact early and maintain it. You can use your eyes to charm and connect with another person if you just have a few simple guidelines. Most psychologists say that the inability to maintain eye contact is often received as an intent to deceive. An insecurity may not actually be an intent to lie to someone else, but it is how you will be perceived if you do not meet someone else’s eyes and keep them.

Most cultures around the world equate honesty with the ability to converse while maintaining open eye contact. In the animal kingdom, the act of looking away is interpreted as the act of submission. It is a natural defense mechanism. When you engage another this way, you are saying that you are not afraid and you accept them. If you have nothing to hide, keep those eyes on the person you are with and you will be rewarded. Most people focus on one eye or another; dominant eye to dominant eye. However, if you find yourself looking from one eye to the other, focus on the space between both eyes and you will give a better impression.

If you are addressing a group, pick out the friendliest faces in the crowd and meet them with your eyes. Most of these people will be nodding along with what you have to say. Use them as your base, but don’t neglect the others. Meet everyone’s eyes but continue to come back to the friendliest of the group.

Be sincere. There is nothing to gain from making false statements or not being honest. You can’t fake credibility and people respond best to sincerity and genuine interest. You have a lot to offer, so there is no reason to lie about it. Most people fudge a little on their resume, but if you fudge a lot it is going to show. After all, consider who you enjoy speaking with. Who are you going to trust?

Approach everything as an opportunity to learn. When we dwell on our failures, we fail to give ourselves the ability to gain valuable insight from them. If you botch an interview or a date, it is fine. Everyone does. The people who choose to learn from their mistakes are the ones that have the most success. The more you put yourself out there, the more confident you will become.


Mar 9 2009

7 Steps to Sell Anything to Anyone

For Sale

It’s astonishing to me when I have a discussion with most copywriters, marketers and entrepreneurs and they desperately look for the best approach to communicate or market a written message – when the most obvious tools are staring them right in the face.

What’s even more bewildering to me is that many of them have to look for the “best way” to motivate prospects to purchase their product or services – instead of first understanding what automatically actuates them to act.

If you haven’t judged what the most noticeable tools are that’s staring you right in the face, its unconscious psychological devices – more particularly, the thinking habits of every brain on the face of the planet earth.

Actually these Unconscious psychological devices are “motivations” of the mind that are engrafted deep within a person’s brain, and need only a simple “push button” trigger to set off an automatic response action from their brain in the form of placing an order, a demand for more information (generating leads), and/or a phone call or visit to the store or other place of business.

The idea of mind control has always been tempting to copywriters, salespeople, marketers and entrepreneurs. Why? Obviously, it gives the person who understands these psychological devices the privileged benefits to “push button” automatic fortunes.

If you’re a copywriter, in business or in the marketing arena who’s interested in specializing in this million dollar knowledge, you’re in luck because I’m going to share seven of them with you right here, and here they are:

1. Story– Everyone loves a good story

Everyone loves a good story

There’s something magical that occurs when you tell a story. The reader or listener has to become a participant in the story, in order to make sense of it. This is where you get them to FEEL, and almost realistically experience – in their imaginations, what you’re telling them. Unconsciously, this creates a memory and it is more difficult to overlook. Finally, it helps you make a bond with your prospect.

Practical application: Relate to your prospect and come up with a story that gives them imaginative reasons to use your product or service.

2. Time Distortion – “Pretending They Already Are”

All are Buying

Here’s the posture: “You already wish for and own this product and let me explain you what it’s like to.” Actually, what you’re doing is future
pacing their thinkings as if they are holding your product or service in
their hands. Employ simple descriptive phrases that enlighten a “sense” or “touch” response, and it instills in the mind of your prospects that they already own it. They will embark on to visualize the benefits of doing so all on their own.

Practical application: If you sell books, they are flipping through the pages. Electronics, they are applying this neat gizmo (pushing the buttons, twisting knobs etc). Cars, boats, anything – get in and drive it, grab the wheel.

3. Credibility – To Project Authority

Credibility

Make what you say credible, and nothing hideous. Who is endorsing
your message? Do you have satisfied buyers of your products or services? What do they have to declare? Express that in your message. Show them experts approve your products. If it’s not authentic, your prospects are going to “pick up” on that. Reliability instills what you’re asserting is true, period. Just provide evidence.

Practical application: Request your clients for testimonials, even if you have to decently bribe them for one. Offer a discount, free sample, bonus, or report. In a sentence, the more credibility you create for you and your product or service, the more authentic the message becomes, and the less resistance they have when it comes to make a buying choice.

4. Urgency – To Act Now

Urgency

Even if your sales message is expressively driven and potent — making
them feel like they want to buy, put a sense of urgency to emphasize
them to buy it now, and to not wait, period. Limited time offers, discounts won’t last, this deal won’t last long. No matter how commanding your sales message is, if they get away – after so long, the feeling and their buying decision erodes away their desire to buy now, until it’s gone.

Practical application: Bring forth a forceful reason to get your prospect to feel so compelled it’s totally necessary they must buy it now, because it’s urgent. Maybe employ “fear of loss.”

5. I Gave It To You Free, You’re Guilty – To Create The Return Effect

Guilty Dog

Ever found an offer in the mail of a free sample of a product? Ever visited a website and got 3 free chapters of a book? Giving away something to someone for free produces guilt, the feeling to return. If your friend buys you dinner, you might feel you should pay for the next time. It’s a natural instinct. When something’s given, the desire to give back is produced.

Practical application: Give away a free sample or freebie – anything for free. Make sure it is something of real value. After, suggest that you’ve given them something and how they’re one tuff nut to crack, because you’ve provided them something for free, and you haven’t heard back from them. Sit back, and watch them purchase…

6. Commit then remain Consistent – To Create Long-Term Friendships/Action

friendship

Here’s the posture: “If you’re purchasing from me now, we’re friends;
you’ll order more from me too.” You’ve acquired the customers’ confidence once you’ve laid down the first sale, and once they’re happy; make them happy again, and again. Buy something from the television and you’re almost always expected to buy more, it’s easy. Then, two months later, another offer from that same company rings on your phone in the other room, or the offer is waiting in your mail box when you get home. Normally, being a much higher priced product or service. Why not ask? You’re obviously qualified.

Practical application: If they buy once, get them to buy again and again. If you sell information memberships, sell all the tools and products that the membership consists of (improving your golf game membership website – sell golf clubs, balls, clothing, shoes etc.) If you sell them a book, sell them a home study course that’s more expensive.

7. Curiosity – To Keep Your Prospect Tuned In

Curiosity

Early in your sales presentation, promise what will happen when they
finish and complete your sales presentation, and keep them curious.
Curiosity is a powerful tool you can use to keep your prospect in suspense, and to search out the answers to satisfy that strong desire to “fill in” the missing information. Leave out certain information in your benefits that “trigger” the thought “What will happen if?”
Practical application: Instill and arouse curiosity early in your sales
presentation to cause your prospect to want to complete your message (i.e. tell them there’s a misspelled word in your sales copy, and if they can find it – they get a special deal. Ask them if they want to compelling benefit, and tell them they’ll find the answer as they continue to read, or pay attention to you.

As you’ve probably noticed, it’s infinitely more powerful to apply
these psychological devices in your presentation when you realize they all open the flood gates of a person’s brain, and deliver compelling emotions and complex thoughts and meaning. Anyone who comes across one of these seven applications will “undergo” the spell of this covert influence because it sparks response below a person’s surface awareness.

So, the only question to ask yourself is: “Are *you* going to use them?

To find out, simply go through the following checklist, and count the
number of items that apply to you.

1. You want more sales

2. You’re willing to look through your sales presentation making sure
each of these devices are applied

3. You prefer to *use* powerful knowledge over just “knowing it”

4. You want more power in your ability to influence others on
undetectable brain levels

5. You are curious and interested in creating more powerful
“unconscious” influence

6. Covert persuasion and influence doesn’t scare you and you’ll use it
to your advantage in ethical and judicious ways

7. You are willing to sit down and brainstorm how you can apply these
psychological devices to your sales presentations, even if only applying one device a day, because you know it’ll bring your more sales, and consequently, profits.

If at least 5 of the 7 above statements are true for you, then you’re
ready to use the most powerful form of undetectable communication that exists today. This is the best time to break into the covert persuasion and influence segment of communication.


Feb 5 2009

Seven Power Steps to Accomplish Your Goals in 2009

Have you observed strange something about “new” that keeps our mind occupied with new solutions, new ambitions, new dreams, new projects and new wishes? New Year gives an ideal outset for leading up the next chapter of our life and making it happier and cheerier than the previous one.

However not every ambition and wish becomes reality. Going on your initial zeal and enthusiasm over the long period of time is often difficult. If you have planned something last year you obviously know how hard it is to stay committed to them.

Uncovering the motive why so many people abandon their New Year’s plans, mostly as fast as they make them, is simple.

While plans for the New Year provide us a fantastic sense of positive meaning, they are really tough to stick with unless we turn them into obvious, clear and well-defined objectives.

Here are a few goal setting tips that will help you to stay on track with your plans and make the upcoming year more fabulous:

1. Get It Right!

Before attempting to devise any actual long-term objective for the next year have a ‘mind dump’. It’s fantastic yet easy to get a lot of ideas out of your head, clear your mind and get a positive view of your plans, resolutions, and desires.

Dedicate at least 20 minutes of your committed time to brainstorm. Just sit down, deep-breath and relax. Take a pencil and paper and write down whatever plans come to your mind. You don’t need to analyze anything. Just note it down. Big or small. Little desires or big life changes. Everything you hope you had gotten to, but didn’t. Anything you desired for a long time, but never had enough time, determination, or diligence to go through.

2. Pick Your Goal!

Take a look at the plans that you have penned down… Are any of your goals out of reach? What is the most crucial goal for you just now?

I’m pretty sure that there are many goals that you would like to achieve, but only few of them will have the most expectant affect on your life this year.

Which goal is that? Is it something that can be accomplished in a single year? Or will it need you more time? If it is a long-standing goal that will take several years to accomplish, you might want to break it down into smaller goals that you can achieve in less that a year. Or else, there is a great chance of losing passion and initial drive.

3. One Love; One Goal!

Don’t set a large number of different goals at the same time. While it may seem like a good idea to divide your focus, time and energy between multiple goals, in reality it is counter-productive.

When you define a goal – you make a promise to stay dedicated to it. If you are acting on a lot of goals at the same time, you aren’t devoted to any of them. You’re just going with the flow, anticipating that you’ll get time to grip everything into your already busy schedule. But what you do in reality is lose control of your time and let outside circumstances prescribe your life.

One goal allows you clarity and focus. Ten goals create disorder and perplexity.

If you want to do well in achieving your goal next year, focus on just one goal at a time and stick to it until it is achieved 100%. Then decide on the next one.

I admit that we wish to have the whole thing right this moment. Human is impatient by nature. But take some time to reflect on this: It is far better to accomplish one major goal than set 10 goals and fail to achieve any of them!

4. Create Your Mantra

Once you’ve determined your goal, turn it into a personal statement. And then turn it into something more than a statement – make it your own mantra or a verbal formula that is continuously repeated in your mind.

Ensure that you make your goal as detailed and clear as possible. There is a great way to check if your goal is stated correctly. Look at your goal “from the distance”. Forget that you have written these words just a few hours ago. Imagine that you see this statement for the first time, because your friend wants to know your opinion on it. Do you have any questions? Or maybe you would like to clarify a few things? If so, make adjustments to your goal, until it is 100% clear to everyone who reads it for the first time.

After that put copies of your goal on an index card, make it your desktop wallpaper, post it in the car or right next to your bathroom mirror or next to your computer at work.

Ensure that your goal is always at a forefront of your mind. Repeat it out loud every single day. Make your goal a center of your focus.
This will help you to keep your motivation and excitement high throughout the day.

5. Decide On an Action Plan

Many people fail to achieve their goals not because they lack desire or enthusiasm, but because they fail to plan their success out.

Goals are not simple items on your to-do list. They can’t be done overnight. Any worthwhile goal requires sustained effort and energy over the long period of time. Without a well-thought action plan it is almost impossible to carry big goals out.

If you want to noticeably improve your chances of success – plan specific actions that will lead you to the desired result. Your goal should be your compass that will point you into the right direction.

Your action plan is a detailed map that with the baby steps will take you to your destination point. Action plan also helps you to monitor your progress, while giving you a sense of accomplishment and making the whole process seem a lot easier.

6. Make Your Success Inevitable

Even if the goal that we have chosen sounds really appealing, it doesn’t mean that we will stick to it. When it comes to doing actual work, our motivation disappears with a speed of light.

Here is a quick example. Having a beautiful, toned and slim body is a very inspirational goal. We all want to be healthy and look great. However, getting up early in the morning to run 1 mile, denying ourselves things we love to eat, changing our lifestyle sounds much less appealing. At this point we have to consciously force ourselves into doing all these things to get the end result that we want.
Of course, if you have an iron will and unbending self-discipline, you will achieve your goal anyways. But if you are like me, you probably won’t torture yourself for a long period of time. Fortunately, there is a way how you can accomplish anything you desire, without having to force yourself into doing something.

All you have to do is set up the right conditions and let things happen for themselves.

For example, if you want to get more exercise, you can find a friend who wants to get back in shape and offer him/her to exercise together. Or set up an appointment with a personal trainer at the gym. He will stay by your side the whole time and you will more likely do your best. Or you can make a deal with your spouse that every workout that you’ll skip, you’ll give him/her $40.

Leave yourself no escape from achieving your goal. What conditions can you set up to make your success inevitable? With a little imagination and support of your friends and family you can accomplish any goal!

7. Build on Your Success

No matter what goal you have decided to pursue, there is only one way to achieve it – take a first step and build on your success gradually.

There is no way around it. You can’t become a multi-millionaire without making your first million. You can’t get in shape and have a gorgeous looking body, without doing the first workout. You can’t write a book, without writing the first chapter.

Whatever you want to accomplish you must do something every single day towards making your wish reality.

Even if you do just a little bit. Something that doesn’t require a lot of your time of effort, but you do it DAILY; you will achieve even your most daring goals.

Don’t let a single day go by without “incrementally” adding to an accomplishment of your goal. Consistency is the most important factor of success. Not motivation, not knowledge, not your skills – but consistency.

When we are first faced with everything we must do in order to achieve our goal it is easy to feel overwhelmed. When a goal seems too difficult to accomplish we often procrastinate, preferring to postpone hard work for later. The problem with it is that “later” may never come.

The only moment when you can change or do something is NOW. Don’t delude yourself with self-justifications that it is ok to skip today, if you do twice the work the next day. Deep down you know that it is just another story that you are telling yourself.

January 1st is a great starting point to change your life for the better. Make no excuses next year! Do something that will take you closer to your goal every single day. Even a tiny step towards your goal creates momentum and boosts motivation. And it is a step that you will never have to take again.


Jan 6 2009

Protected: The 75 Skills a Real Man Should Master

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below: